Given that they carry close to 100 million passengers every single year there is a very good chance you have been on at least one Ryanair flight in the last couple of years.
They’ve had a big push of late to help them improve the quality of their service but despite that there are still some unmistakable signs that you are flying with Ryanair.
We’d be seriously surprised if you weren’t nodding along in agreement with all of these…
1. Needing sunglasses inside the plane because everything is so fucking yellow
2. Feeling sorry for the staff because you know they have to go through this every single day while paying for their own uniforms
3. Getting stuck sitting beside a group of teenagers / hen party / lads going on a holiday and having to put up with it
4. Wondering who the hell is stupid enough to buy those bloody scratch cards
5. Wearing nine layers of clothes to save on checking a bag
6. Shaking your head and wondering why you are such a cheap bastard and didn’t just pay €50 extra with another airline
7. Watching everyone queue despite the fact they now have assigned seating
8. Spending more on your bus / train ticket to get to the city centre than you did on the flight itself
9. That one time you ordered the food thinking it wouldn’t be that bad
Oops.
10. Studiously avoiding every single button on the website to not be charged more for bags / insurance / cars / hotels etc
11. Getting up at about 3am just to save €20 on a cheap flight
12. Having nightmares about forgetting to check in and print your boarding pass
13. Becoming more efficient than the SAS at packing your belongings
14. Having FOMO because every other airline has proper skybridges, and you’re walking down the middle of tarmac to get to your plane
15. Having to stare at the safety instructions for three hours straight, 20 inches from your face
On the plus side, you damn well know what to do in an emergency.
16. Judging all the people on the plane and then realising you’re no different
17. Spending a good 10 minutes wondering how it is legal to make a seat this small
18. Walking a half marathon to get to the gate
19. Spending a good 15 minutes of the flight wondering what you’d say to Michael O’Leary if you had him alone for a few minutes
20. And understanding that the only thing worse than being on a Ryanair flight… is being on a Ryanair flight after a heavy weekend
21. The insult being added to injury when you hear “that” music
22. The fact that you are 99% sure the landing is much harder on Ryanair than other airlines
Make that 99.9%.
23. But getting sucked in all over again when you see a new deal
Dammit, Ryanair. We can’t live with or without you.
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